What’s wrong with telling the Truth?

I have to say I have found that my biggest complaint these days is why is it so hard to just tell someone the truth. I have been in a place for the past several years where I am trying my best to be as honest with people as I can and not hide how I feel anymore. Now that doesn’t mean I am ugly and hateful. Since my separation I have learned one thing above all else, if you will just be honest with someone and let them decide how they feel about it, you will be much better off. Sometimes people will surprise you and understand, if they don’t then at least you were up front with them and let them make the choice.

Our society today thinks that everything is acceptable, and that is so far from the truth it’s crazy. We need to understand that if our kids and grand-kids have no moral compass and a good grasp on what is right and wrong, then they are going to end up messing this world completely up. I know that most think it already is, but I believe it is like a bad marriage, it isn’t over until you give up on it. We see mass shootings and murdering innocent children because you couldn’t handle raising them or whatever reason you may give, there is still no excuse, adoption is alive and well in this country and there is always a choice.

Our world is so without God right now that we are surely in the end of times the Bible speaks of and the one thing that we need the most is God. Let me get on my soap box a little more. Your kids do not run the house, you do, so make them listen, take them to church and encourage them to get involved in church activities. Stop believing in the notion that you want your kids to grow up and make their own choices so you don’t make them go. You are just teaching them that as long as you are happy, everything in the world is right. We as parents need to be parents and teach our children about right and wrong, that is our job as parents. If we got back to telling our kids the truth about things, like everyone doesn’t get a trophy and everyone doesn’t get to play if you don’t work hard to earn your spot, they are never going to understand why the world doesn’t owe them something.

Kids killing kids, parents, teachers and whoever else makes them mad. What do you think they are missing? Do you think it just might be the respect for your neighbor, relatives and authority figures. Bullying is out of control in schools and we think “not our kids.” Well if you didn’t teach them respect and a good healthy dose of fear of consequences, then yes, probably your kids. Our kids have been let loose to run over other people and they have no respect for anyone, not even themselves. Those bolstered egos that we have tried so hard to make sure to build, all in the name of confidence instead of the Truth are what has gotten us in this predicament. I don’t doubt that a child should have confidence, I encourage it but lets be real, if you are the one who thinks every kid should get a trophy for participation, you are part of the problem. Do you think that kids need a false sense of confidence or do they need to work hard and be rewarded for their hard work. When a child plays a sport and works hard to get a spot on the team, should they not be encouraged to keep working hard to keep that spot and rewarded for that hard work? So what are we teaching them when even someone who doesn’t work hard for a spot gets one, and someone who doesn’t work hard gets a trophy. Where did we stop recognizing hard work and start recognizing everyone no matter the effort put in. How can a child take pride in his accomplishments if we continue to diminish the reward for the hard work. Now lets be honest, I am not talking about peewee football or youth sports leagues. I think that is where we take our kids to learn these sports. I do believe that if a child is trying and comes to every practice and is putting in the effort to learn how to play, they do deserve a spot on the team to continue to grow. I do not, however believe that they all deserve a trophy, but a chance to put the effort in and get better. I also believe that if a child is not willing to put in the work and effort like other kids, then they should not be allowed to stay on the team. Each circumstance would need to be considered because there are children whose parents don’t care and will not get them to practice on time, then another parent or coach should step in to help them become the best they can.

Which brings me to my next point. We are all in this together, no one is getting out alive, that’s a fact. We as a society are no longer concerned about our neighbor or the family down the street that you know are beating their kids, or maybe they just can’t afford nice clothes and food and we are making assumptions. We are concerned about being in other peoples business but not about helping someone. If we stopped and said what can I do to help that family, instead of how dare they act that way. You don’t know anyone’s story unless they have told you, and that would require you stop and listen to them first. Start looking for ways to be a blessing to someone and to help them have a better life, stop being so caught up in your own sense of self righteousness that you can’t see what is really going on. You could offer that child a ride to practices and games, or you could offer that family a friendship that could potentially change their life, and lets be honest, maybe even yours.

I hope that all my ramblings might have caused even a few people to stop and think about that kid at school, or that family down the street. We all know someone that needs help, we just need to stop looking at them with contempt and start looking at them with love. They are our brothers and sisters in Christ and they just want to be loved and accepted the same as us. Truth can be given with love, it doesn’t have to be ugly and negative. We just need more of it, and we need less lies, deceit and false confidence because lets face it, that isn’t doing anyone any good and it’s tearing our world apart.

Please don’t be shy, tell me what you think. It is really okay to disagree with someones opinion and I don’t take it personally, most of the time 🙂 I want to hear what other people think.

Another day gone

Well I am slowly getting stuff packed and moved. I have so much work to do on this house but I am marking things off my list daily. I never realized how much there is to do when you are fixing up a house but I do feel accomplished. I have been able to do a lot myself that I would not have done before. I laid tile in the kitchen and bathroom, hung sheet rock, tape, mud and paint. I am now laying laminate hardwood floors, that is proving to be a little more challenging but I will get it completed before the end of the weekend. Thank goodness for You-tube or I would not know how to do some of this stuff.  I even made my own hardwood counter tops, they will need a little sanding to make them work but I did it. I think I can learn a lot more and stop depending on other people for stuff but that is a different blog post all together. I am 3 weeks into my leave from work and I only have 1 week left, I am pushing to get all moved in by Monday or Tuesday at the latest. It is only taking that long because I am still waiting on electricity and hopefully that will be done tomorrow. I just wanted to update everyone and let you know I am coming along and will make this work. I will overcome and make the best of the cards I am dealt, I am a survivor. Until next time, keep your chin up and keep on keeping.

What do you do when faced with the big “D”

Well as most of you know, that is me right now facing the big “D”. I will be the first to admit I never wanted it and dang sure didn’t expect it. Sometimes you are put in a situation though, that you just can’t deny that it is the only option. I have cried, screamed, prayed and even bartered to keep my marriage. In the end though, I guess he is making it easy on me for saying that he won’t change. Pride will be his downfall and my push to do what I probably should have done long ago. I can only pick myself up and make the best of what I am about to embark on. Is there ever an easy way to get a divorce and split up the accumulations of a marriage, no, never. I will leave with the bare essentials and forget the rest. It isn’t worth it to me to fight for half of everything like people keep telling me. After all, this is the man I married and loved, and still do. Why would I want to treat it like a freak side show, just to get justice? No, there is a higher power that will make him answer for his part in this. I, however, will be the bigger person and take what is needed to live and move on with my life. I can’t make someone be something they don’t want to be or can’t be, so I will do what I can with me and only me to make it. Lives will be changed and people will be hurt, but it isn’t worth it to me to cause any of that intentionally. You put on your big girl panties and you suck up that pride that wants to make him pay, and you take the high road. God did not make me to be vengeful and hateful, he made me to love and forgive. So that is what I will do and away I go on this new chapter that has yet to be written and I can only be the character that God directs on this new journey. So what do you do when going through the big “D”? Whatever it takes to heal and move on and be the better person. Forgive and love as God loved us. Karma and God will deal with him/her.

Top 5 Things you always wanted to ask but were embarrassed.

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Have you ever wanted to ask a question but didn’t because you thought people would think you were silly or it was just too personal?

Well here we are going to just throw it all out there and answer those top 5 questions that no one really wants to ask.

  1. Is it bad to hold a fart in? I mean really, who wants to pass gas in public but sometimes it is just too hard to hold in. So many of us wonder but never ask, is it bad to hold it in. The answer is for a normal healthy adult no. Just beware that it will come out when you are not expecting it sometimes. So if you hold in it while walking through the supermarket just to keep from fogging someone, you might run into Mr. Handsome who wants to have a coffee next door and then you will be very uncomfortable and face the possibility of letting it out in front of him. So to pass gas or not, it is up to you but I would definitely rather some unsuspecting stranger be the witness of that fog than some cute guy at the coffee bar next door.
  2. Why do I pee when I sneeze or cough? I mean really almost every woman I know knows exactly what I am talking about. It happens more than most know, especially men. They have no clue what us women go through every time we have a sudden movement. Well the answer is simple ladies, most of us who experience this have had kids and gained weight. This causes the muscles down there to expand and stretch and not hold it together quite like it used to. You can do Kegel exercises to help or go see your doctor and see if there is some medical treatment or surgery to help prevent this from happening.
  3. Does everyone pick their noses? Of course they do, they just don’t want you to know they do. Some people do it in private but I promise you, they do it. It might look a little more like a scratch to some people but they do it all the same. How else do you get all that crap out of your nose, it won’t all come out on toilet paper when you blow it. Let’s be real folks, we all do gross stuff when no one is paying attention. The only difference is some people don’t care who is looking and do it anyway.
  4. Does this dress make my butt look big? Well let me just put it this way, if you have to ask, yes it does. Only girls like me with big butts ask this question, so it ain’t gonna make it look small that’s for sure. If you doubt me, have a friend or relative take a picture of your butt from behind and you will see what I am talking about. Of course if you have a J-Lo butt and are worried, don’t. We all wish we had a butt like that.
  5. Do I really need to get dressed to go to Walmart? Yes, yes you do. The same people you see at your kids soccer games are the ones you are going to run into at Walmart. If you work in the town you are shopping, don’t even think about wearing your PJ’s to the local grocery store. These are people you do business with and expect to continue doing business with you. If you are in any type of business where you are the face of a company, that face is still what they expect when they run into you at the store, not some no bra wearing baggy shirt and extra short shorts wearing person. Have some respect for yourself and get yourself dressed before you leave the house. I will say the only exception to this is if you are extremely ill. I know when you have to go stand in line after being in the hospital to pick up a prescription is not the most pleasant thing to do, I have had to do this. I can honestly say I did not get dressed up to go to the ER so when they released me and I went to get my medicine, I still looked like I had dragged out of bed.

So what have we learned today? Everyone does embarrassing stuff, the only difference is don’t get caught and have some tact. Don’t do it if you can help it in public and always look both ways before exhibiting normal bodily functions if possible. Put some clothes on and take a picture if you don’t know what you look like in an outfit cause if you are questioning it, you probably should not wear it.

Have a blessed day and make someone smile 🙂

How can I make it on my own as a single parent?

5 THINGS I LEARNED AS A SINGLE PARENT

Well let me tell you from someone who has been there and done that. I struggled and I am sure that most people who are faced with this situation do. I worked 1 full time job, 1 part time job and babysat at night to make ends meet. If I had it all to do over again, would I do it the same, no way. I learned to work smarter not harder in the years to follow. Below I have shared a few things I learned over the years.

Let other people help you if they offer

I used to think I had to do everything on my own. My mom was a Godsend to me, I relied on her more than I should have but she was the only one I would let help me. If you have friends and family that offer to watch your kids while you complete a short training course that will lead to a better paying job, take it. If they offer to watch the kids while you pick up another shift, take it. I can’t stress enough, they are there to help you. Most of the time they know what you are going through and that is why they offered.

Learn a trade as early on as possible that you can build on

If you can take a class or semester to help you get a better job, most jobs will help pay for your college and work with you to get a degree. If you work as a CNA through a nursing home, some will help you to get your LVN as long as you commit to work for them for a year or two. Then if you want to move on, you have options. Start somewhere, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.  A lot of jobs can lead to a better one down the road. If you can take a computer class at the local college 2 nights a week and that will get you to work in an office, take it. Do something and don’t think it won’t make a difference. If you are taking a class here and there and don’t think it matters, ask that next HR person if it does. I promise you, if you show initiative and are learning things to better yourself, they are more likely to hire you than someone who doesn’t.

Don’t waste time wondering if your doing a good job raising your kids

Love on them and spend time with them as often as possible. It is a huge guilt for single parents wondering if they are spending too much time working and not being with their kids. Let me tell you, my kids knew that I worked hard and did the best I could, the only thing I regret is not taking them to the park enough. You are tired at the end of the day and there are many excuses you can make but they need that. My kids are stronger and better for knowing that I loved them and did everything I could to support them. It was the small things like enjoying them that made all the difference. They don’t hate me for working hard to provide for them, they respect me and the choices I made.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for government assistance

A lot of people abuse the welfare system and don’t need it, they just rely on it as a basis for supporting their families. That is not what the system was meant to do. If you are trying to better yourself and need help to get there, use it. I learned a lot of things through DSHS and the Texas Workforce. I took job readiness classes at the Texas Workforce and they paid for me to go to CNA classes, they also paid to have my transmission replaced in my car so I could get back and forth to classes. DSHS offers  a lot of resources for parents who ask for them. They are not normally going to offer them but if you ask for help in getting a certificate or training they can point you in the right direction. I never realized that most Jr. Colleges are very affordable and I was actually able to go for free because I was low income and qualified for enough money to pay for my college. It never hurts to check it out and you may be able to go as well, and it is never too late.

It is okay to take a break from your kids

I know we are very stressed and feel guilty because we aren’t spending enough time with our kids. Do you not think you would be a better parent if you actually took a break and recouped every once in a while. We all need time away to breathe and catch a little R&R. Our kids are included in that and need the time away from you just as much. A weekend at grandmas is just what the doctor ordered. Go sightseeing or just lay out by the pool soaking up some sun. It doesn’t have to cost anything to get away. If you aren’t ever able to hang out at the pool and not be on constant alert or just take a drive down a dirt road because there isn’t a bathroom close, then it is time to take some time for yourself. Give yourself a break and relax. Remember what it is like to smile and laugh and just enjoy without wondering where the kids are. We all need to take a time out so don’t feel guilty.

I hope you enjoyed my 5 things I learned as a single parent. Please feel free to tell me what you learned as a single parent. It can be serious, funny, or just informational. Thank you for reading and have a blessed day!

 

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Welcome to Blunt Truth Blogger-An Honest Answer to Your Questions

Have you ever wished someone would just answer you with out beating around the bush or not telling you the truth because they don’t want to hurt your feelings? Well you have come to the right place.

I have always been told I don’t have a filter on telling people the truth. I have become an expert on tactfully (most of the time) telling people my honest opinion. I am not here to hurt peoples feelings and say whatever, I am here to give advice and answers to questions that others might not want to help with. With that being said, I do not tell you what you want to hear to avoid telling you the truth. If I hurt your feelings in the process, that is not my intention. I am a God fearing, loving woman with children and grandchildren of my own. I would never treat anyone any different than I want to be treated. I am hear to be as honest and open with people as possible and hopefully help a few people along the way.

Our journey is not always easy, the path is never straight and the lessons learned might be hard ones but the final destination is worth every minute. courage-853466_640

My First Day Blogging

I am here to be a blessing to someone, an answer to a question in the dark that you are afraid to face. This is about you and what you want to know. Ask me anything and I will give my best answer or even advice if you want it. This is a safe place where no-one knows your name or face unless you tell it. Your situation can be completely unique or you may find that it isn’t so unique after all and others may be facing the same issues. I ask that all comments be kept in the most positive, helpful language possible. We are not here to put anyone down or outright be ugly. I will delete any comments in that manner. So ask away or comment what you would like to here about and I will be more than happy to blog away.

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